a fragment of light. 

Fuck. Well 10 months, it was a good run. Back on 22nd September I posted about noticing that I was in the eye of the storm… well it was strong and no matter the preparation and the efforts to prevent it hitting land. It has, a 6/10 on the bipolar II scale. Last week I…

the eye of the storm

It always amazes me how fast I can go from 60mph to 0mph. The signs are always there, telling me that a storm is coming… And I see them and I dance with them hoping for some sun instead but no the rain will always come. As much as I’ve spoken about what it’s like…

a rationalising thought…

I’ve spent many a year sat in therapy trying to understand my own mind, which is difficult for anyone but even more so when your rapid cycling episodes change on a bi-weekly basis. Why would I put myself through it? Sitting opposite a relative stranger discussing my deepest and darkest thoughts? Well imagine if you…

putting it together

seasons of april mental health blog this episode discusses how to deal with a period of wellness and her anxiety around it.

hurt.

Pain can come in all shapes and sizes… It can be a dull ache or an overwhelming blow but it still hurts. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve just had your heart broken or you’ve stubbed your toe. It all fucking hurts.  I am now officially out of a job and for me it feels like…

the rock and the hard place.

Recently I have ignored you. Ignored you in the hope of just ‘getting on with it’. But you see, I can’t because in my quest of normalcy and regularity I have realised that well, I am not either of those things and as much as I hate to admit it, this off loading of thoughts really…

april-rose with a side of bipolar…

World Bipolar Day has just gone by and I have done my best to avoid it… These days of acknowledgement always make me feel a little disheartened, that we need one at all is disappointing. But then again all the big illnesses and diseases have them, but what I wouldn’t give to live in a…

decades of life…

It’s been a while and I’ve been hiding in my head. Gears whirring away in the background whilst the extroverted cog gets shit done and work starts to pan out. It’s been a month of ditching the depression with the darker evenings and breathing much-needed life into those dark and grey corners… I’m not quite…

a space between time

There’s a space between time when all things go quiet except for the ticking of your heart and the relentless nausea bellowing from within Your mind fills itself with a radio silence of white noise and a fear louder than any alarm bell ringing between your ears There lies a loudness that consumes you before…