a fragment of light. 

Fuck. Well 10 months, it was a good run. Back on 22nd September I posted about noticing that I was in the eye of the storm… well it was strong and no matter the preparation and the efforts to prevent it hitting land. It has, a 6/10 on the bipolar II scale. Last week I…

Two years of grief.

If you are to understand anything from this post, understand that grief is simply yet painfully: the loss of love.

knocked for six…

I’ve been feeling fine. Yeah I know actually fine. Who knew such a word could actually contain sentiment but believe it, it can.  For the past month I’ve been busying myself with friends 30th birthday parties, trips to middle earth, baby showers and the like and it’s been lovely. Yet feeling fine has knocked me…

the eye of the storm

It always amazes me how fast I can go from 60mph to 0mph. The signs are always there, telling me that a storm is coming… And I see them and I dance with them hoping for some sun instead but no the rain will always come. As much as I’ve spoken about what it’s like…

a rationalising thought…

I’ve spent many a year sat in therapy trying to understand my own mind, which is difficult for anyone but even more so when your rapid cycling episodes change on a bi-weekly basis. Why would I put myself through it? Sitting opposite a relative stranger discussing my deepest and darkest thoughts? Well imagine if you…

Hair today… hair tomorrow? A dare-to for rainbow hair enthusiasts

My ever changing hair colour is often the topic of conversation, stranger stares and random folk stopping me to say my hair looks *insert adjective here*.  So after some gentle persuasion from a fashion group I’m part of on Facebook – ‘My Style Squad’ I thought I’d tell you how to get the colour yourself…

Goldilocks and the sandwich board…

There’s something in all of us that likes to be needed, to be wanted and adored. Whether that’s the short term kicks of a Tinder match or a pat on the back from your boss, or it’s the long term need to procreate or get promoted and win a shiny gold star. We all like…

putting it together

seasons of april mental health blog this episode discusses how to deal with a period of wellness and her anxiety around it.

hurt.

Pain can come in all shapes and sizes… It can be a dull ache or an overwhelming blow but it still hurts. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve just had your heart broken or you’ve stubbed your toe. It all fucking hurts.  I am now officially out of a job and for me it feels like…

the rock and the hard place.

Recently I have ignored you. Ignored you in the hope of just ‘getting on with it’. But you see, I can’t because in my quest of normalcy and regularity I have realised that well, I am not either of those things and as much as I hate to admit it, this off loading of thoughts really…

april-rose with a side of bipolar…

World Bipolar Day has just gone by and I have done my best to avoid it… These days of acknowledgement always make me feel a little disheartened, that we need one at all is disappointing. But then again all the big illnesses and diseases have them, but what I wouldn’t give to live in a…