me, myself and you…

You’ve probably gathered from my previous posts that I’ve been in a bit of a dark, isolated place… The woods and the trees have been the same and the dark fog was practically pitch black…

Over recent weeks and through sheer determination I am making my way out and back into the light. What I’ve realised is that it’s been the lack of control I have felt over the depression that has kept me under for so long but through the blog posts and support of others this control is now back firmly in my white knuckled hands.

I’ve started art therapy, psychotherapy , yoga (yes really! I’m as surprised as you!), I’ve been seeing my recovery navigator more regularly plus I’ve started doing 100HappyDays again (taking a picture of something that brings you some joy each day). All of which is making the dark days less black and the mornings far more bearable.

As well as this my work place have been incredibly supportive, flexitime has been a part of it but more so the compassion of others not only in their noticing my struggle but offering a guiding hand through. No pressure to be well just complete confidence that I can fight it. And it’s been such a driving force in being able to cope… I know so many of you who read my blogs suffer in silence in fear of the stigma and anxiety of showing ‘weakness’. I am grateful to have been offered such support and I truly hope you will read this and be able to find the strength to say it out loud and get the help you need.

If I’d not been so afraid to admit that I wasn’t coping I don’t think the depression would have been so dark for so long. Opening up to friends and family, being honest whilst I’m in the midst of it hasn’t been easy, yet by doing so I have allowed them to come in and see all that the illness can do and have in the process equipped them with the knowledge to help. Which they have been so willing in abundance to do…

I am incredibly lucky to have a great support network but it wasn’t until I was willing to put the walls down and let them in, that I could see it for all it is worth. If you’re in the blackness, I urge you to share your pain with someone you trust, you’ll know who that person is, and I know it’s tough to separate your feelings from rational thought, but I promise you as soon as you do you’ll start to feel the load lighten.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Rapunzel McWeaver says:

    love you

    Like

  2. jinkerson says:

    Reading this, hearing about the support you are receiving and the positive steps you are taking, makes me happy. Keep on being strong and positive. x

    Like

  3. Kate furni says:

    Another insightful post, sharing is caring!

    Like

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