Reflection can be a dangerous thing… Like a tipping scale it can so easily go one way or the other should too much weight be placed on one side.
Thankfully today is not a day of sad reflection…
Following another bereavement therapy session I have come away reflecting on all of the soppy, pass me a bucket, heart warming stuff that is so easily forgotten. Especially in the midst of grief.
My heart may have a whacking great hole in the middle of it that can never be filled, but what’s truly great is that I have so many veins, arteries and cells working together to keep it pumping, loving and feeling. Whether near or far away in Timbuktu friends are reminding me that I am loved and cared for and, my remaining family, the ones that count, are keeping memories alive and my feet grounded in the here and now.
It’s hard to see it when in a depressive or mixed state, it’s hard to see all of the things working together that keep my heart intact. I may be a work in progress but I am so thankful I can see the woods for the trees and the love through the self depreciation.
And so as the days go by I am trying to move my focus from what I no longer have, the things I thought I wanted, and the person I thought I should be. And instead create a reflection of myself that I am proud of so that I can see what everyone else sees, in me.