greater than the moon…

It has been a week since my beloved grandfather passed away. Just 7 days but it already feels like a lifetime, I’ve had so much I have wanted to talk to him about and yet nothing at all.

He has left a hole greater than the moon in my heart and in my life. Yet his presence on this earth is everywhere; every boat I see along the river, every pint of bass in strangers hands, each blue autumnal sky, each falling leaf reminds me of kicking piles of them with him as he’d walk me to school, every big band song singing from my radio I can hear him belting it out behind a cloud of cigarette smoke.

He is everywhere. Yet I miss him beyond measure.

And I know one day I will forget the sound of his laugh and him saying my name ‘oh Rosie what am I going to do with you’… Of course his memory, our memories will never be forgotten but his voice, I miss that the most.

It has taken 7 days for the reality of never hearing him or seeing him again to kick in and it is an agony I have never felt before. It’s not really even a pain, more of a longing for what has gone and I know it will get easier but for now all I feel is a great, unparalleled loss.

My darling Grampie, how I love you so.

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